the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
