i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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