Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
