i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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