You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
