there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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