i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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