My liver just broke up with me...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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