I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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