So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
