mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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