My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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