4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
