im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Randomize
