You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
People in love make me want to vomit
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
