Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
