Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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