I molested 6 butterflies tonight
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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