OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
