I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
