its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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