she was so not down for the gang bang
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
