Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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