i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
