Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
