so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
