so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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