So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
