So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Randomize
