Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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