trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I touched a dick in church today
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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