I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
