Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
