I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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