"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
