Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
