Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
