The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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