Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
