It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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