dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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