she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
