My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
