You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
