Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
