I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
