i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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