Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
