good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
