Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
